A couple of months ago, I was on a date with a girl who was an extra in a Bollywood movie.
A little bit of context:
She’ a 6 feet tall Scandinavian girl with long blonde hair, very blue eyes, and very, very long legs.
Let’s just say; she stuck out like a shore thumb when she was walking around the city.
Anyway, at one point, there’s this guy who approached her and asked if she would like to be a part of a new movie. An actual Bollywood movie! He wanted her to play an Australian diving instructor.
She hesitated a little bit.
But, eventually, she gently said, “okay, sure.”
“Exactly what have I gotten myself into?” was her first thought.
But her next thought is fascinating and very relevant if you’re in a leadership position:
“…but what’s the worst that can happen? Worst case, I’ve got a great story to tell when I get home!”
Here’s my point:
If you want to change something in your life – the results in your business, your relationship, your health, etc. – you can attack this process in two different ways:
1. You can convince yourself that it’s going to be extremely difficult, annoying, and a pain in the butt.
2. Approach the situation like the girl I was dating: Have a positive focus, find the best possible way to solve it, and look at the problem as it is. Not worse than it is, but not better than it is.
Whatever choice you decide to make is always up to you.
But you ALWAYS have a choice.
And not making a choice is ALSO a choice.
The point is, in the end, it’s always up to you.
For example, all my coaching clients have also made the choice to change their situation.
They decided to contact me…talk about a possible strategy to reach their goals…and some of them decided to get my help personally.
I want to give you the same opportunity.
If you want to become the best possible leader you can be…influence your team to achieve bigger and better results…or handle any difficult conversation with ease, then my leadership coaching program might be a good fit for you.
Use the contact form here, and let’s start with a complimentary Strategy Session, and let’s see how I might be able to help you.
https://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/bollywood.jpg6441200Kristian Thaulowhttps://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/pe-menu-logo-black-new.pngKristian Thaulow2020-02-26 16:25:022020-02-26 16:29:04Leadership lessons from my date with a Bollywood extra
Two years ago, I was responsible for arranging a bachelor party for my best friend, who’s extremely afraid of heights.
So, as the great friend that I am, I obviously planned an activity that took place 160+ feet up in the air.
Specifically, an obstacle course suspended 164 feet up in the air.
And there’s actually an excellent leadership lesson (and life lesson in general) hidden in this experience.
Here’s what happened:
The first two to three obstacle courses we had to go through were, in hindsight, relatively simple. But, because we were suspended 160+ feet up in the air and looking down on the solid concrete floor and different shipping containers below us, just getting to the opposite side was a little harder than it normally would.
Anyway, at one point, I decided to try and overcome my innate fear.
So I started to lean out into my harness without holding on to anything.
Simply to overcome my fear.
And, it’s funny, after I did that, the rest of the obstacle course started to become relatively simple. Where some of the other guys were struggling to keep going because they didn’t want to let go of their ropes, I could pretty easily go through the different challenges because I didn’t have a problem with letting go.
Which brings me to the lesson I want to share with you:
In general, we only have two types of fears as an adult:
1) The fear we won’t be enough
2) The fear we won’t be loved
In this case of the obstacle course, the fear of not being enough was going through our nervous system. Why? Because, what if we didn’t have the physical or mental strength to complete the circuit.
But, since I decided to face my fear head-on and see for myself that I actually had everything I needed to complete the circuit, that fear more or less evaporated.
Everything in life is time and repetition.
If you want to lose weight, you need time and repetition to do the right things like training regularly and eating healthy 80% of the time. You don’t lose weight just because you’ve eaten one healthy meal or done one training session.
If you want more clients in your business, you need time and repetition to find those clients and show them how you’re their best possible option to solve whatever problem your business solves.
If you want to inspire and become a better leader, you need time and repetition to work on your leadership skills.
Moral of the story?
Whatever your goal is in life, business, or relationship, you need to master your inner psychology.
The best part?
In my book, The TRUST Method, you get a simple, step-by-step plan that shows you actually how to do this. Plus, how to inspire anyone to take action…how to be more efficient…subtle leadership mistakes you MUST avoid…and much, much more.
You can check everything you get via the link, here:
https://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/insecurity.jpg6441200Kristian Thaulowhttps://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/pe-menu-logo-black-new.pngKristian Thaulow2020-02-25 16:21:222020-02-26 16:29:05How to overcome any fear and insecurity as a leader
Today I’d like to share a business strategy and leadership mindset with you.
It’s called the “Polarity of Leadership.”
Let me give you an example to explain what it is and how to use it in your current situation:
Think back to when you were a kid.
You’ve probably tried the classic experiment with the two magnets. The one where you placed the North and South pole of the magnets together. What would happen? They would stick, right? But what happened when you placed the same poles together?
The magnets would repel each other.
So, what’s the underlying lesson here?
For example, look at the success of Disney.
Their success would never have happened without Walt Disney’s vision and creativity.
However, if he didn’t have his brother, Roy Disney, to handle all the financial and strategic decisions, Disney would never have become the financial juggernaut it is today.
Disney’s success is the perfect example of the Polarity of Leadership.
And it’s not just Disney.
In fact, you can find examples of the Polarity of Leadership in everything—even in parenting.
On the one hand, you can be too strict with your kids. On the other hand, you can be too loose.
You run into the same polarity when you are leading your team.
One polarity is being too close to your team.
The opposite polarity is being too emotionally distant.
Let’s be honest, very few people want to follow a cold and calculating robot — unless you’re a diehard “Westworld” fanatic, I guess. They want someone to lead and appreciate them as human beings. Being a leader doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be their friend. You need that professional distance. But if you never show any emotion, people won’t trust you, and they won’t follow you.
The Polarity of Leadership is just one of the dozens of little-known tips and strategies I talk about in my book, “The TRUST Method.”
If you’re curious and want to take your leadership skills and your business results to the next level, my book is a great place to start.
https://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/polarity.jpg6441200Kristian Thaulowhttps://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/pe-menu-logo-black-new.pngKristian Thaulow2020-02-24 12:25:482020-02-26 16:29:05The Polarity of Leadership: The secret to a high-performance team
A couple of weeks ago, I read a quote I hadn’t seen in a while.
And, there’s a great similarity between this quote and any type of success you’re hoping to achieve — whether in your business, personal relationship, personal goals, etc.
Here’s the quote:
“None can destroy iron, but its own rust can! Likewise, none can destroy a person, but its own mindset can!” – Ratan Tata
Think about it:
Your success as a leader, or a manager, ultimately comes down to one thing:
Your ability to control your inner psychology. Your mindset, depending on which term you prefer.
It’s all about mental mastery.
Question is… how do you achieve this “mental mastery”?
How do you build an unbreakable inner psychology and mental strength that will help you push through every challenge and setback you face?
Let me explain:
Imagine you’re put in an extremely stressful life-threatening situation. You’ve never had any training. You’re not at all prepared. And you have absolutely no clue about what to do.
How do you think your body is going to react?
You’re probably panting, sweating, and you’re nervous.
Now, let’s use that same example. But instead of never having done any type of training, you’ve trained for this exact situation hundreds, maybe thousands of times in the past.
How do you think you’re going to react in this scenario?
Calm. Collected. Focused. It’s knowing what to do. You are getting the job done and not being swept away by fear. It’s still a dangerous situation, but since you’ve done the work up-front, you know that you’re able to solve this problem.
And not only that, you’re focused on controlling the things that are actually within your sphere of control.
Again, the difference lies in the preparation and the mindset of focusing on what you’re able to control.
And it’s this difference in preparation and mindset that separates the best of the best from the mediocre leaders.
Your inner psychology truly is the bottleneck of all your results and success in every area of your life.
The bottom line?
The bottleneck of any business is the mental mastery of its leader.
You’re welcome to disagree (it isn’t against the law to be wrong).
Which brings me to the rub of all this:
For example, in my book “The TRUST Method,” I’ve identified three critical leadership mindset shifts that are going to take your business from good to amazing.
I reveal everything on pages 32-36.
If you’re interested in taking your leadership skills to the next level, my book might be an excellent place to explore. You can read all about the book via the almighty link, here:
https://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/bottleneck.jpg6441200Kristian Thaulowhttps://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/pe-menu-logo-black-new.pngKristian Thaulow2020-02-21 12:56:032020-02-26 16:29:05The bottleneck of any leader (and any business)
I used to be the world champ when it came to setting New Year’s resolutions. I say “world champ,” but what I really mean is failing miserably a few weeks later.
However, after hundreds of failed attempts, I decided that this “strategy” probably wasn’t the best type of accomplishment to put on my resume.
Let me ask you: How many times have you decided to make a change, for example during New Years, only to find yourself right back into your old habits and routines?
Don’t feel bad. This happens to most of us. In fact, according to some research over 80% of people fail their New Year’s resolutions before they even hit February.
So what’s the difference between people who fail year after year with their New Year’s resolution, or goals in general, versus the most successful people?
Here’s the truth.
The most successful people are playing a completely different game than most other people. New Year’s resolutions or stupid pointless tactics are not even on their radar. Where most people bring a water pistol to the battlefield — the most successful people bring a bulletproof tank.
I’m here to tell you that you can create the life and business you want. But you’ll have to rewire yourself into the type of person who’s worthy of that success.
Let me explain.
The #1 roadblock people face when trying to achieve… anything
When people try to achieve any type of goal (e.g., losing weight, starting a new business, improving their relationship) most often, they’re looking at their goals in reverse.
Here’s what I mean:
People have a peculiar tendency to set these arbitrary goals without understanding their inner psychology before they set off to find a motivating goal. I use the word “motivating” with the highest amount of sarcasm because motivation, in and of itself, is a terrible focus. Why? Because motivation is not what creates lasting change, it’s only what gets you started.
You can be the world’s most motivated person, but, if you don’t have an inner drive to do what you set out to do that motivation will eventually evaporate, and you’ll be right back into your old habits.
If you don’t understand the psychology behind goal setting, you are inevitably setting yourself up for failure.
Here’s where the problems start to surface.
In general, people fixate on the tactical elements of “how to” achieve their goal. You can call it strategy, mission, or vision, but whatever you decide to call it the problem doesn’t change. If you don’t change your fundamental way of who you are, you’re going to self-sabotage your progress at some point.
Think about it: Imagine I’m 50 lbs overweight. Then, I’m 50 lbs overweight for a reason. It’s because of my habits, beliefs, and values that I’m where I am right now. If I’m EVER going to change my situation, I need to change who I am.
The brutal truth is that the person you are now will never be able to achieve the goal you’ve set. If you want to accomplish anything new, you have to rewire your brain to become what I call a new “persona.”
Your current persona is everything which makes you… you. It’s your habits, your way of thinking, your daily routines, your beliefs, your values, etc. If you don’t change your current persona and create a new persona, a version 2.0, you won’t be successful.
And to do that, you need a compelling vision, mission, and strong guiding principles to help you guide your decisions.
What’s your guiding mission, vision, and principles?
Plus, even those people who, on the outside, look successful can suffer from depression too. So even if we might achieve the type of “success” which society defines as success, at the end of the day, it’s worthless if we don’t feel fulfilled.
Setting and achieving goals is essential to create a compelling future and build confidence. But, goals without fulfillment are meaningless.
Be honest: How many times have you achieved a goal — you became “successful” — but you ended up feeling like you were missing something? “Is this it?” is a common feeling people have when achieving something they’ve pursued for a long time.
My goal for 2019 is to help people like you realize your potential. And help you achieve the goals you set out to do. Whether you own your business, work for someone else, or are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company here’s my commitment to you:
You’ll only get battle-tested and actionable strategies that you can use in your business and life when you read my material. No fluff. No B.S. Only the #1 thing that matters: Results.
Question is this: Where do we start?
Everything starts by having a compelling vision, mission, and principles to guide you towards your ultimate version of yourself, your business and your life. Let me show you how you do it:
What the movie Coach Carter taught me about success
I love this quote: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
I remember hearing this quote from the movie ‘Coach Carter.’ (You can watch the clip below.)
The quote is a variant from the book ‘A Return to Love’ by Marianne Williamson
This quote is so powerful and so accurate because every one of us has more potential than we give ourselves credit for. We are powerful beyond measure. Unfortunately, people are putting a massive ceiling on their success because of one thing:
But at its core fear is just a story we tell ourselves.
You’re not bound by the stories from your past.
You’re not bound by the stories you believe will or will not happen in the future.
You’re only bound by the decisions you make in this moment — nothing else.
Your future is created today, in this moment, in this second. And the truth is, you can engineer a new compelling future for your business, your relationship, and your life. But it all starts with deciding that 2019 will be the year that you pursue complete fulfillment.
How to make 2019 your most fulling year ever
Here’s my challenge to you for 2019. I want you to do these 3 things:
Step #1: Set aside 1 hour this week. Use that time to create your compelling vision, mission, and your principles that will help you achieve your vision.
If you already work in a company which has its own vision, mission, and principles, that’s fine. If that’s the case, start to create a compelling vision to your own life.
Vision: Where do you want to go
Mission: How do you plan to get there?
Principles: What are the fundamental beliefs your philosophy and map of the world are built on?
A great example of guiding principles are Amazon’s 14 leadership principle. These 14 principles guide every single decision Amazon makes. People can have the best idea ever, but, if that idea doesn’t serve their leadership principles, the idea will get dropped.
They’re a great example of how to create powerful guiding principles to use as inspiration. I’ve outlined the 14 principles below, but if you’re curious, you can read a detailed description of each principle on Amazon’s website here.
Amazon’s 14 leadership principles:
Invent and Simplify
Are Right, A Lot
Learn and Be Curious
Hire and Develop the Best
Insist on the Highest Standards
Bias for Action
Have Backbone; Disagree and Commit
Step #2: Instead of adding more things to your life, focus on eliminating the stuff that doesn’t support your new compelling future. Be ruthless. Focus on removing everything which does not contribute genuine value to your life and business.
Step #3: Finally, the most critical step: Put all this in your calendar, so you remember to focus on it every day. There really is no excuse. You have to stay focused on your vision.
Fulfillment doesn’t happen by chance or luck.
Fulfillment happens by design and relentless focus.
“Don’t be defined by someone else’s standards, have your own definition of success.” Duke Matlock
What if you could leapfrog your competition and effortlessly create a compelling vision and mission for your team?
What if you could retain your best A players and create engaged and empowered team members?
I’ve created a FREE case-study where you’ll discover the “Hidden Leverage Blueprint” that will increase your profitability by 6 or multiple 7 figures.
And that’s not all.
It’s also a powerful strategy that will reduce your employee turnover, as well as show you the ONLY 4 leverage points you should focus on to take your business from “good” to “amazing.”
https://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/manifesto-2019.jpeg22083313Kristian Thaulowhttps://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/pe-menu-logo-black-new.pngKristian Thaulow2019-01-11 13:07:562020-02-26 16:29:05Kristian’s 2019 manifesto: The year of your compelling future
Today, I would like to introduce to you a concept I call “The New Persona Strategy.”
Your current persona is who you are right now. It’s what you believe, what you focus on, how you think. It’s everything that makes you… you.
Your current persona is also the different skills you have right now. It’s your strengths, your weaknesses, your good as well as bad habits. It’s also the things you fear.
The brutal truth is that you are the biggest problem standing in the way of you reaching your goals. But, you are also the solution. And the person you are now is what I call “your current persona.”
The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it will be to change your persona into the new persona you need to reach your next level.
I’ve always found it fascinating when people take different personality tests. The first time they take the test, they feel their results are spot on. But then, when they decide to take the test a few months later, and they get a different result, the typical reaction is usually that those personality tests “don’t work.”
This is total nonsense.
As we discussed earlier, everything in the world is moving and changing. Nothing stands still. Either you’re growing, or you’re dying.
So is it really that strange that, when you take a personality test at a later time, you get a different result? Of course not.
Your current persona, who you are now, is just an image you’re seeing at this point in time. If you want to reach new goals and get new results in your life, you have to change your current persona.
That’s why the whole social norm of “you should just be yourself” really is B.S. Because, if who you are right now is not producing the results you want, why would it make sense to stay the same?
For example, if my current persona wants to lose weight, but everything I’m doing contradicts that goal, I’m never going to be successful. If I eat junk food every day, and I never drink water or exercise, it makes no sense to stay the same.
If you want things to change, you have to change.
Right now, you have to make a decision: You have to decide whether you are satisfied with the results you have now or not. And if you’re not satisfied, you need to change. Otherwise, you’re just going to get the same result as always.
I’ve mentioned this point many times throughout this book, so all this might seem obvious. But again: Common knowledge is not always common practice.
Let me give you an example: One of my clients, during one of our coaching sessions, said he wanted to instill real passion into his staff. But he was having a hard, hard time achieving that goal. We went through a lot of different strategies, but the more he spoke, the more I got the feeling he didn’t even have that passion himself.
You can’t expect other people to have something you don’t. How are you supposed to influence them if you can’t even influence yourself?
If your team is lacking passion, take a hard, critical look at yourself and ask whether your current persona really shows genuine passion. It’s one thing to say that you’re passionate. It’s another thing to show it. People learn more by example than being told what to do.
So show them, instead of telling them.
* * *
This was an excerpt from my book, The TRUST Method: 10 Leadership Strategies That Build Genuine Trust and Influence Anyone to Take Action.
https://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/impact.jpg15362048Kristian Thaulowhttps://powerfulexecutive.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/pe-menu-logo-black-new.pngKristian Thaulow2018-10-03 15:45:262020-02-26 16:29:05The New Persona Strategy: Engineering your new persona to create massive impact
“I just need to FEEL more motivated, then I’ll get started”?
Honestly, I think most people want to feel more motivated. But the truth is, if you’re waiting for this sudden spark of motivation, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Instead, the real way to become motivated has nothing to do with having motivation as a goal. It’s about having a strategy that you use when your motivation is at its peak.
So today, I’ll show you a simple 3-step formula to help you reach your goals, faster.
The motivational wave
The real problem with motivation is motivation isn’t a constant factor
Scientists call this the “motivational wave,” which is exactly what it sounds like.
For example, when we try to get in shape, we’re usually on a roll for a couple of weeks, but eventually, we end up right back to where we started.
Or, when we attend different seminars, we’re inspired and motivated to use everything we’ve learned. But after a while, what happens?we’re right back into our old routine.
What’s the real problem with motivation?
It’s funny. I could give you the perfect tactic RIGHT NOW that would make you feel more motivated.
And honestly, it would work for a couple of days, but what happens after the 14-day mark? You would be right back to where you started.
So the real problem with motivation isn’t that we lack knowledge. We don’t even need more stuff like new iPhone apps to help us stay on track.
No, the real problem is our psychology.
You don’t even have to look far for the perfect example of why the real problem isn’t a tactical issue.
Look at the weight loss industry. There’s more information about “how to lose weight” than EVER before. There’s books, courses, personal trainers, online programs, there’s a TON of information.
So let’s be honest, in general, people know how to do it: Eat less, exercise more, cut out processed food.
But, they’re still not doing anything about it. Let’s be honest, they could do something as simple as a Google search to get them started.
But, they’re still not doing what they should do.
How to use the science of motivation to reach your goals, faster
So if productivity apps and other tactics don’t work, what should you do?
It’s all about harnessing your motivation to help you PLAN OUT your goal. What I mean by that is, you use your motivation to create a plan when you’re at your BEST — not when you’re at your worst.
Jim Rohn had the perfect quote about motivation, he said:
“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Rohn
He said that years before scientists discovered the concept of “motivational waves.” Again, the goal is to use motivation to PLAN OUT your goal when you’re at your best, not at your worst.
Here’s a simple framework to help you harness your motivation to reach your goals more efficiently.
Be extremely clear about WHAT you want.
Be as specific as you possibly can. You can use these questions to get started:
“What do I really want?”
“When do I want to reach it?”
“Is this relevant for me, right now?”
I always recommend my clients to focus on a goal they can reach within the next 100 days. Why? Because 100 days from now is not too far away and it’s not too short. In general, you don’t want to focus on goals so far out in the future, that you end up forgetting everything about them.
So just stick to a goal you can reach with the next 100 days, and make it as specific as possible.
The next step is where your psychology comes into effect.
Be brutally honest: WHY do you want this?
One of my mentors once said that success is 80% psychology and only 20% details. What he meant was, if we don’t have a very clear purpose and a STRONG reason WHY we should aim for something, we’ll never do it!
There’s a lot of research in both psychology and neuroscience to back this up. If we don’t have strong enough reasons to do something, we naturally fall back into our old habits.
Again, think back to the weight loss industry example. People know they should lose weight. But if they believe that it’s too much hard work, it’s boring, and they have to give up all the foods they love forever. Guess what, they are never going to lose that weight.
The point is if your goal is just “nice to have” and not “need to have” your subconscious mind will take over, and it’s only a matter of time before you’re back to your old habits
The next part is pretty straightforward.
At this point, you already know two things: (1) you know what you want, (2) you know why you want it.
Those two things are the hard part. Right now, you only have to outline how to reach your goal and start with the smallest piece.
Start outlining 5 specific action steps. Just be clear. You already know what you want. So what are the steps you need to take to reach it? Keep things simple.
Once you have at least 5 action steps, find the action step you can tackle right now to get started.
Become a top performer by understanding your psychology
We all know we should do certain things, but we don’t do them.
And the real problem is, we don’t have strong enough reasons to do them and follow through.
But once you understand how your own psychology can work against you, you’ve already taken a huge step in becoming a top performer.
Once you lay out the three steps: (1) what you want, (2) why you want it, (3) how you’re going to achieve it, you’ve done more hard work upfront than most people do.
So, here’s my challenge to you:
What was the #1 thing that surprised you the most about this post?
Share your biggest surprise in the comments below. I read every comment.
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